The Party

Maggie had a birthday party for Kamryn last night. She made green chili chicken enchiladas and had Sarah do a Scooby Do cake. I had an ATV meeting at 6:00 and we finished up at about 6:35 and I raced to Maggie's to be there for the fun.

Kamryn yelled out the door while I was trying to get in the gate "it's my birthday, mo mo sadie" and I said "what?" "it's my birthday, mo mo sadie"..."are you sure?" "yes" Her mama was just pulling the enchiladas out of the oven and we were all starving. Kamryn insisted she was having cake for dinner and did! Trentin had some, too. He had blue icing from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. While Uncle Tad, Aunt Kara, mo mo Sadie, mama and daddy all ate enchiladas, Kamryn and Trentin enjoyed their dinner of cake (mostly icing). Try as we might, we couldn't get them to eat anything else. Troy said that was ok, it was probably better than McDonalds that they somtimes have :o)

Kamryn got a couple of baby dolls, a sleeping bag, a batman car, some money from Grandpa Buzzy and clothes and pajamas from mo mo sadie and Ed. She made out like a bandit and was fun to watch her open the presents. Instead of blowing out, she was sucking in for blowing out the candle, took her a minute to get the job done. She had a gread day and it was fun watching her and knowing for that time, it was all about her.

Baby Mine

Today is Kamryn's 3rd birthday. It doesn't seem possible that she has been here that long. I had the privilege and honor of watching her be born and seeing Troy and Maggie both cry with great love as they looked at this tiny, perfect little baby.

I have had the privilege and honor of being her "amma" for 2 1/2 years and "mo mo Sadie" for the last few months.

First Birthday....2nd Birthday

I have watched her grow, and learn and have been in awe of this special spirit that has wrapped her tiny fist around my heart. She is a talker and loves to talk on the phone. She is witty and smart and a girly girl and a tom boy and a sassy little thing. She loves her mother and her daddy and her brother, Trentin, sometimes known as "Robin". She is into Batman, Robin, Scooby Do, and Land Before Time.

She loves to be read to. Not one story book but EVERY story book. She loves to sing "Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam" and belts it out loud. She loves to go shopping with Ed - his cart always has some unexpected extras in it. She loves to jump on the trampoline.

She loves to spend the night - and she loves her family. When we say prayers, we mention everyone and the dogs, too. She is a good eater and likes to go for treats to Sonic, "Gairy Keen" or "Gonalds."

She has the most beautiful blue eyes and the wildest hair. Her head is sensitive like Maggie's so she hates to have the tangles taken out. She loves water - doesn't matter that she just got out of the tub or shower, if you are in, she's in! (That one worries Uncle Tad). He locks the bathroom door and she used to get down on her belly and peek under the door - someone was running water and she wasn't in it. She's eaten her share of dog food and drank out of the dog water bucket and probably all kind of stuff we don't want to know (toilet??)

She is sweet and I am so glad I am her grandma - her "mo mo sadie". Happy Birthday, sweetheart!

I'm A Winner?

Several months ago I was on 2 Peas and there was this message board post from a lady about a snake...as I read it I was rolling on the floor and I wondered could this person be real. Before I knew it she had a blog and had some of the funniest stories I have ever read. I responded to her blog and told her she made my day. Once in a while we blog stalk each other and most recently she posted about her dear sister having cancer. Reading that post was sad and I responded once again to offer encouragement to Ava Jo.

Yesterday her post was about ecostore products and I responded and today on my blog I have a note that I am a winner! WOW! I'm never a winner so this is fun. Shot of my email to
Ava Jo quickly, cause if you snooze, you lose.

If you ever have a minute, click the Ava Jo link on my blog and read her older posts - she is a hoot and lifts you with her insane stories "tales from the funny farm".

Thanks Ava Jo and I hope this is a good day for you.

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day. I think of being little and living in Nutrioso and my Grandma Rogers cutting lilacs and iris and putting them in a jar or vase and us taking them across the road to Grandpa's grave. Taking care of the graves on Memorial Day was a big thing in both families as I grew up. We were taught that you don't walk on the graves, that you are respectful of the graves. You pulled weeds and took all faded flowers off the grave and then put on new fresh flowers to honor your loved ones.

The Rogers family has our own cemetary next to Uncle Richard's place in Nutrioso that was started in 1947 when Grandpa Rogers died when daddy was a boy of 14 years. The next person buried there was Grandpa's younger brother, Albert who died just a few days after I was born in 1955. It is there that my Uncle Jimmy was buried when I was 9; Charlene & Steve's still-born baby was buried there when I was still in high school and then in 1979 I buried my own Damara there. Don and I made her head stone from a sand stone rock we found "across the hill" close to the Nutrioso saw mill. He was so proud of that headstone and it looked nice. It is starting to wear some now, and one day I will have to buy a real head stone to put there. Tad wants her sand stone head stone left there until there is nothing left. In 1981 my Aunt Lela was next to be buried there, then in 1984 my Grandma. In 1989 Shawn McCall, Don in 1996, then in 2002 Aunt Marie and most recently, Kaelsy and Steven in 2005. Our family cemetary is a little spot of sacred ground that holds the earthly remains and pieces of our hearts forever more. I love the view to the north east - first the green fields and then Escudilla.
This is where one day, I will be buried, too.

Down below (north of) Nutrioso, out on a flat little spot across Nutrioso Creek is the Nutrioso Cemetary. That is where my great grandma (1907) and great grandpa (1942) Sharp are buried, some Sharp cousins, some Hamblin and Mangum relatives. That is where in 1952, mama's 17 year old brother, Ralph, was buried. In 1964, "Papa", my great grandfather Stover was buried there and in 1977 Donnie & Ginger's Daniel Gilliam was buried there. My Uncle Ray died in 1984 and then Grandpa in 1998 and Grandma in 1998 and Aunt Elaine in 2006.

It may seem odd, that I have dates but this is what I was taught growing up, we knew our family members. We called uncles and aunts "uncle" or "aunt". I had the blessing of growing up with my Grandma Rogers, my Grandma and Grandpa Gilliam, my great grandmother "Nary" Stover and of knowing briefly, my great grandma Sarah Gilliam and great grandpa "Papa" Stover. Family was and is important to my relatives on both sides. We wept with those the wept and we mourned with those that mourned. I remember when Damara passed away, my hard working uncles and aunts all coming to her graveside service, offering love and peace and security to a young mother who just lost her first born baby girl. I remember those same uncles and aunts coming to Don's funeral and/or graveside service and again offering a grieving little family love, peace and security. I in turn have made an effort to give back what I have been given.

Those two sacred pieces of ground are and will always be a part of who I am. I miss my family members that I knew. I anxiously await the time to meet those I did not.

I hope that after I am gone, my kids will continue to take care of the graves, not just "ours" but of all of their ancestors. I hope they teach and tell their children about the good, honest, hard-working men and women that rest there. I hope they loving tell their children about their grandpa Don, and instill in them the desire to get to know about the four short days of their Aunt Damara's life. I want the grandkids to remember being young and taking flowers to the graves.

Today, mama and I went and put flowers on the graves. It rained, it hailed and then it let up long enough for us to jump and run to the graves. I didn't get to spend the time there I wanted and needed because of the rain, but I am so glad we went. Listening to mama as we drove, she misses her mama and daddy. She loved her brother, Ralph and misses him. She misses Uncle Ray and Aunt Elaine. She is proud of Papa's veteran service during World War 1; a bright new flag was placed at his headstone and waved freely in the breeze. She is happy that the people that bought Grandpa and Grandma's place in Eagar love it and are keeping it up. She said it didn't seem possible that Damara has been gone almost 30 years and Don almost 13 years.

Today I love my mama and my daddy and am so glad that they taught me well in my youth. I am thankful today for the opportunity to visit the graves of family members and think of them. I am grateful today for men and women throughout the world that have made the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives in helping to give others what we have here in America - freedom. Freedom is not free and hopefully I remember this often.

Hope all is well for all of you. Love to all.

Is Norma Still Alive?

On Saturday morning, I drove home from Buckhorn after spending a couple of days down there with Ed. I had just gotten home when Velda and Caroline drive up to make arrangements for a quad ride. I showered while they got their stuff together and then Velda, Tristan, Grandma Mary, Caroline, Maddie and I went on a ride. We went up the Saffell Canyon trail to the top and had a little lunch and Caroline took lots of pictures (hopefully she will send some). While we were there resting and visiting, Dale Goodman's name came up and Mary asked, "is Norma still alive?" Velda answered yes and in a few minutes she asked again, "is Norma still alive?" We all laughed when Velda said "that's twice mom". After a while as this was now a joke, when Mary asked for a third time, "is Norma still alive?" I answered as I looked at my watch, "she was 10 minutes ago." We all busted a gut and had a great time. Tristan had the IMPORTANT job of driving Grandma Mary and I must say that he did a great job. Dang Caroline brought only ONE diet coke and Grandma was ready to fight her for it. Now when I recognized she (Caroline) has a Canon Digital Rebel camera, I said "s*>%" and was ready to fight her for the camera. Is is terrible, really, to long for someone else's camera?
The forest smelled like heaven. We beat/missed the rain so that our ride was perfect! When we got back to my house, I took Caroline and Maddie down to see Larry Nicoll's new colt and then over to see his sheep. Maddie was thrilled and most especially when I pulled some grass and she fed a horse the grass. We went to Maggie's and Maddie and Kamryn played for a short while then we took Kamryn and Trentin to Velda's to play with Tammy's girls and the kids had a ball.

Steve grilled burgers for all of us and then built a fire in the fire pit so the kids could roast marshmallows and make s'mores. Those kids played and had such a good time so that when Grandma Mary and Caroline were getting ready to go back to the Valley Kamryn and Trentin were so tired they didn't fuss about me taking them to my house and putting them in the tub.
They were tired little toots.

Grandma just called and said she had the best time. She constantly reminds us that she is 77 years old but for an "old grandma" she did great. She wasn't sore, a little hoarse for some reason but still enjoying the memories of yesterday. As she hung up, she asked once more, "Is Norma still alive?" Laughing once more with Grandma Mary.

The phone rings and it's Tad. "What are you doing?" I ask. "Branding calves"...he said. "Where?" (last I saw him he had is bag and fishing pole and headed to Roosevelt to fish). "At Shaylynn's." "Harris?" I ask. "No...our cousin." "Oh...Shayla's?" "Yah." "What are you doing there?" "Branding calves..her ranch is by Joe's (Jay and Tad's friend) close to Punkin Center. Somehow they ended up helping brand calves in their flip flops. Now I would pay good money to see that! The thing that kind of choked me up was this...Tad said "Mom, I knew her without knowing her. I recognized her as family." Shayla walked up to Tad and he said, "you're my cousin - Tommy Long's sister and Shirley's daughter." She said, "you're Don's son." They haven't seen each other in close to 20 years and they knew each other. I told him that THAT was cool! Tad has been blessed to get to see a lot in this world; do a lot. He has had some real close calls and some spiritual things that make my skin tingle and yet he is out in the middle of no where and runs into family. His connections this last little bit has been on the Allred side of the family, Uncle Stan's family in particular; first with Val last month and Shirley's daughter, Shayla today. The thing I recognized both times is that it meant ALOT to Tad, I could hear it in his voice just a few minutes ago and I saw and heard it when Val was here.

I called Grandma Mary and told her this little story and she was touched as I was. She thanked me for sharing this story with her. Family is Forever is not just a motto - it is EVERYTHING!

And yes, Mary, Norma is still alive!

Whew! The Weekend is Over

Ed got home Thursday night and I had been working like a maniac in the yard so we got Subway Thursday night. I worked in the yard all day again on Friday so we went to Safire for Fish Fry night (pretty good, by the way) and Saturday morning we went to breakfast with Todd and Carmen. I had the kids Thursday a.m., Thursday p.m. and Kamryn spent the night Friday night. Saturday morning I was beat. I had the kids until Saturday evening and then I had to go to the grocery store before we could eat. Ed kept teasing that I was hinting I wanted to go out again, which I wasn't. I just hadn't had a minute to get to the store. We are grilling steak and he's getting ready to go back to Buckhorn. When he leaves I'm gonna sit on my tired b*t# and do nothing. I think I'm getting old fast, and I don't know why.

We were supposed to go on a quad ride on Saturday but when I went out to start my quad on Friday, I found that somebody's granddaughter had turned the key on (two weeks ago) and the battery had literally died. No amount of jumping or charging could get it going again, so $75 bucks later I can be on the trail again. The lawn mower needed a new battery and Ed was afraid to tell me that the battery for it was only $24 (he told me it was real expensive last summer so EVERY week, I jump started the dang thing). He changed the oil in both our trucks, we just didn't get to everything we planned on because of little people but I guess some of it can wait.

The kids won't be little for very long and the definitely won't want to hang around old people in a few years so we better enjoy them while we can.

I had sharing time today and thank goodness it is over for another month. I traded with Jodi as she is out of town this weekend and I had planned on being out of town next weekend until I realized that next weekend is Memorial Day Weekend and the ATV club has volunteered to help with the pit bbq. Saw Jennifer at church today. Her boys are getting so big and are the cutest little guys ever. I don't know how she keeps up.

On Wednesday, I had Kamryn and I took her to Sonic for an apple slush. We were almost to my house and she grabs her throat and said, "mo mo sadie, my throat hurts". I quickly thought that maybe it tasted funny or something and asked, "what's wrong with it?" - her reply..."it's hungry". Later on her cute little denim shorts were falling off her skinny little butt and she looks at her backside and said "what's going on in my shorts?" hmmm...don't know what's going on in there kiddo, except that your shorts are too big. You never know what that kid is going to say, and Jenna says that Bailey boo is going to be a talker, too. Gunnar is kind of quiet but if he has something to tell you, he will talk your leg off. Trentin just grunts and you know what he wants.

Trentin is the silent type, I guess. (He gets it from his mo mo sadie)

Have a good week all, and know that I think of you often.

Mom

I hate Mother's Day! Of course when you are younger, you always serve in Primary and the first class I taught was the 5 year olds. I loved those kids and still do. Well after getting married and not having a baby by the second Mother's Day, I hated going to church, you know all of those sweet little kids singing "Mother I Love You"... it took almost 5 years before we had Damara and then she passed away at four days. I was devistated and then we were married almost 7 years when Jenna was born...boom, boom, boom four babies in a little less than 5 years. Raising Jenna, Tad and Maggie was a joy, and I was so busy with them I didn't realize I hate Mother's Day. Now that I'm older, I can shout out loud, I hate Mother's Day. Who in the hell had the idea to celebrate mothers? I LOVE my mother. I just feel so bad that I don't measure up. My mother is kind and patient. My mother is a good shot (ask Lynn...she can chuck a rock and nail you when she needs to) and with Lynn there was more than one time he needed it. My mother never thought twice about warming up your behind if you needed it (I am pleased to say it didn't take me near as long to figure things out and stay out of trouble as it did my brother, Lynn) That kid must have gotten a spanking a day :o( and he never got one he didn't deserve and probably didn't get as many as he should have. Any way, back to mom. She has been there for me for everything I've ever needed. She used to sew all of my clothes, give me the Toni home permanents (before "Annie" made kinky cute) and is a super cook. My mother has worked hard with my dad for 56 years and I can call her for something and if it's in her power to do it, it is done. Nola is like that too. Why aren't I?



I failed in so many things as a mother that having a whole day to celebrate my failures isn't a fun thing to do. So today, I went to church, had a ball in Primary, came home and listened to Tad play the guitar, rocked out with Nickelback and then went to Nola's for dinner. Had a great time and celebrated my mother. I love her for all she has done for me. As I get older and she is aging and getting frail in some ways, I see my great grandmother and grandmother in her and it tugs at my heart strings. I know one of these days my mother will be gone and that will be one of the saddest days of my life. For now, I can call her, drop in and visit her, take her for a coke or just know she's there. I am so grateful for my mom. I am grateful for my family and for my kids. They are the joy of my life and I hope that they know that my failures and screw ups weren't intentional, just me trying to do the best that I could with what I had.



Hope all of you had a good day.

Busy Spring Days and Dog Poop

I love the spring in RV...except windy days (so how many AREN'T)? Those few and far between perfect days when you are dying to get outside and work in the yard and KNOW better because the next wind storm undoes everything it took you three days to do. Anyhooooo knowing better and still doing it, I've been working out in the yard this week. I hate to admit I'm so out of shape that by the end of the first day I was feeling some unused muscles that were screaming "YOU IDIOT", the end of the second day found me in a bad mood (because of the out of shape, hurting, and frustration at being out of shape and hurting vicious circle) and my body was going into survival mode. It hurt to sit on the potty, it hurt to bend over and pick up the kids toys and it hurt to have Kamryn ride on my back. Do you know how lame it sounds with "grandma hurts today" on a NICE day? I got the front flower bed back under control (I let it hair over for winter to cut down on winter kill), watered the rose bushes that are sprouting out nicely after their fall pruning and started in the back yard. How in the hell does one dog poop so much? After it starts getting really cold, I don't pick up dog poop until early spring so needless to say, I had a LOT to pick up. I find that is the job NOBODY ever offers to help with, not that anybody offers to help with anything else, either, but they wouldn't do that one with a big reward at the end, my reward is having Sadie as my buddy, I guess. Hopefull by the end of the day the back yard will be in great shape and I can start watering. I HATE having to pay so much to even keep the yard alive, not lush, just alive. I'm one of those that starts praying for the monsoons in March...never too early to start.

Hope everyone else is enjoying the beauties that surround them wherever they are. I'm loving seeing all of the trees in town leafing out...my grape hyacinths were so pretty this spring, and now I have touches of green in my lawn and the best part of all is at about 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. I can hear all of the birds singing. I hear activity at the mill and I am grateful that there are people with jobs. I am grateful that in spite of the economic down turn, my kids have still found ways to survive. I am grateful that I have each of you in my life.

Have a good day at work, at play, or whatever. I love you!