Happy New Year

We have a new year...a new beginning.  I reflect on 2012 and feel humbled by my many blessings.  January begins with New Years, then MY birthday, woot woot!  Weston celebrates his birthday on the 17th along with my dear friend, Margaret.  On the 22nd our Bailey turned 4.  She has been such a joy.  She makes my heart smile.  Tad guided Willie Bloomquist from the Arizona Diamondbacks and Adam LaRoche from the Washington Nationals which was a lot of fun for him.  They hunted Unit 27 and the word was out that they were out and pretty soon there were a lot of people hunting the baseball players.  Willie mailed a bat and balls for Cache and Ryker.  LaRoche sent Tad a super nice rifle.  He has had many experiences in his career as a big game guide.  We wonder just when baby no. 4 is coming... Jenna signed Gunnar up for Wrestling and it is a ball.  He does so well.  He wrestles with "Level Change".

February comes and on the 4th little Presley Dawn makes her entrance...on Uncle Tad's 29th birthday.  Tad shares his birthday with Clancey McBride and Gage Wiltbank (Cord's little boy) and now "Pretzels".  She is a little doll and I get to spend a week helping Jenna.  On the 11th Gunnar turned 6 and had a birthday party and invited some of the little boys from his Kindergarten class.  Gunnar is such a good little boy and he melts my heart.  I love how when I am sitting on the couch he will find a time and come and snuggle with me.  He is so smart and so obedient.  Weston and David come up and install new windows in my house.  They are so nice and I can't believe how much warmer the house is and the window sills stay so clean.  They also had extra insulation blown into my attic.  Weston is just amazing.  He is a hard worker and a good husband and father.  I truly love and appreciate him.

March 8th is Trentin's birthday and he turned 4.  He got a new bike and was so happy. Trentin is such a sweet little boy and is so smart.  He is into sports (New York Giants)  and has quite an imagination.  Maggie and the kids were living in an apartment in Eagar.  Chelsea and the boys came to the party.  Tad is in Wyoming on a power plant outage and while he is there Chelsea tells him she no longer wants to be with him.  I was broken hearted for my son who was devistated.  I was broken hearted for Cache and Ryker who are so innocent.  Tad moves back in with me while he tries to figure out what to do.  He truly loves being a dad and for that to be taken away from his just kills me.  Weekend dad is something he never wanted to be.  My dad turns 79 on the 19th and I watch as my mom and dad are getting older and more feeble.  Daddy misses Uncle Richard so much.  Jenna and Weston celebrate wedding anniversary number 8 on the 26th along with Nola and Larry who celebrate #35.  Gunnar participated in his first Wrestling Tournament and took 2nd Place and are we proud.  It was awesome to watch.

April is birthday free for us.  Don and I would have been married 38 years on the 25th.  Wow! 

May comes and we start the remodel on my house.  Talk about a lot of hard work!  We ripped two walls out, the old fireplace was torn down and sealed off, the pellet stove moved, a built in wall entertainment center/book cases built, new flooring and paint.  Weston and Jenna were so good to help me get so much done.  Tad worked every weekend and many nights for 2 1/2 months.  There were days we didn't know if we would ever finish and we still aren't completely throught but it is beautiful.  I love my house!  I flew with Linda to Charlotte NC for a HUD Conference the first part of May.  I can now say that I have been on the east coast.  We flew into Atlanta then on the Charlotte.  We flew out to Detroit then to Phoenix.  I saw the great lakes which with cloudy skies really looked like the ocean.  Someone said that we could actually see Canada from the air - not sure on that one but it was a cool trip.  Charlotte is beautiful.  I would love to travel across the US and see different places but that will never happen.  Kamryn turns 6 on the 26th - she is a sweet little girl.  Kamryn spends a lot of time with me and we travel together quite a bit.  She finished Kindergarten and even though she is very smart she struggled.  I know a lot of it was her home life.  The kids bounce back and forth every other week between Maggie and Troy.  Maggie is messed up with drugs and it is killing me.  Kamryn and Trentin deserve so much more.  Gunnar is playing softball and Weston is one of his coaches.  Gunnar is good at softball, too.  Bailey is an awesome cheerleader and helper for Weston.  Loriel graduated from UofA and is moving to California with Adam.  They plan to marry in 2013, I think. 

Summer comes and we are so excited.  My whole house is now in the garage.  The wind blew like hell when we moved everything out into the back yard and there is dirt in everything I own.  After the flooring is installed the installer finds there is a problem with the carpet and we wait for word on what will be done so I only move minimal stuff back into the house.  I hate not having everything back where it belongs because you can't even walk in the garage and I feel so overwhelmed.  June is a blur because we were so busy.  I have a Social Security review and they tell me that I made too much money and I appeal their decision because when I asked about going back to work the guy I talke to told me it did not matter how much money I made as long as I did not work more than 80% of a 60 month period.  I give my resignation at work and on July 30th I begin my stay at home status.  I am excited because I really didn't want to work full time.  I told Hank I would help finish out the CDBG grants and I didn't like me when I work.  I was so tired and stressed out.  I was grouchy with Kamryn and Trentin.  I look forward to being less stressed and being grandma again.  I have agreed to be the ATV Jamboree Coordinator and it is stressful too.  Our new club officers drag their feet and talk everything to death.  I really hope we can pull it off.

Maggie decided in June that she wants to be with Troy and tells him that.  He is seeing someone in Morenci and isn't sure about Maggie.  Maggie and the kids move in with me.  We have a full house.  Maggie and the kids went to Jenna's the middle of June so her kids could take swimming lessons.  Weston and Jenna built a pool and it isn't ready on the 4th but a couple of days later.  The kids had a ball in the pool.  Maggie finds out she is pregnant and I am heartsick.  Not about pregnancy but about this baby.  My first thought is who's baby is it?  Troy's?  C.J.'s?   She tells Troy she is pregnant and it is his and we are dealing with that when all of a sudden Maggie said she realizes the baby is not Troy's but is CJ's.  This causes problems with Troy and Maggie but she remains steadfast in her efforts to rebuild her family.  I wish with every fiber of my being that this baby could be Troy's that would make life so much simpler but we will see.  I honestly feel that Troy can, if he wants to, raise this baby and they can get beyond all of this and put their family together again.  This will be an uphill fight but it is possible.  There is constant drama and it wears on me and on Maggie.  We fight all of the time.  She is pretty miserable and takes it out on anyone and everyone...mostly me.

For the first year in many I didn't ride in the 4th of July parade.  My quad battery was dead and there weren't any in town.   I watched the parade with Lynn and Laura and then went to mom and dad's for their cook out.  I really missed all of the kids on the 4th.  Chelsea is here with her boyfriend (the guy she left Tad for) so we don't get to see the boys.  Chelsea spends most of the summer in Utah with her boyfriend and we don't see much of the boys.  It is so hard on Tad and I really miss them too.
On June 26th Chelsea does a 1/2 birthday for Cache since his birthday is December 26th she thinks it will be easier to do it in June so he has a special day...On the 7th of July we celebrate Ryker's 1st birthday at the Eagar Park.  He is such a cutie and he loves his daddy.  He always knows me and I love that.  Chelsea's boyfriend is at the party but doesn't interact with any of us, not that I care, but if he is going to be in their lives he will have to deal with us for the rest of their lives, like it or not.

July and August are busy getting ready for the Jamboree.  I spent a week in the Valley for Brinley's 2nd birthday.  I used to think Bailey was the kook but maybe Brinley is the true kook.  She makes everyone laugh.  You never know what she is going to do or say.  Oh Brinee... I love you so.  We played in the pool and it was so much fun.  Presley is growing so fast...she and Brinley are 18 months to the day apart so Jenna has her hands full.  Jenna and Weston and the kids spend a lot of time at the lake in their boat.  The kids swim or ski all of the time and love it.  I  go home and hit the Jamboree hard.  I am questioned at every turn and it makes me uncomfortable.  I don't know what they expect or want but if they want to take the jamboree over, knock yourselves out!  Summer seems so short this year.  Gunnar started school again on the 22nd or 23rd of JULY!  School starts up here the 11th or 12th of August.  Kids don't have much of a summer any more.  Trentin starts head start and does very well.  He kind of has a speech impediment and I have to listen very close sometimes to understand him and when I can't figure it out Kamryn translates.

Jenna and Weston come for Labor Day and we have a good time.  The kids play 24 hours a day and I love that Jenna and Maggie's kids love each other.  I get ready for and we carry off the Jamboree starting the day after Labor day.  I am tired and don't know what the club thinks but by this time, I don't care.  It was successful and I guess we will go on with number 10.  Maggie turns 28 on the 18th.  Nola turns 53 on the 23rd.  I went out to Josh Ranch and cooked for Tad for a week the end of September.  It was fun and it was a lot of work but the hunters liked my food.  I got paid 700 which will pay for my pellets for the winter.  I also used a little of the money to go to the valley Social Security is reducing my monthly benefit by $400 and this will be critical for me.  I am sick and don't know what to do.   I approach Jenna about coming to the valley once a month and helping her for a week for $200 a month - she says they will pay me the 400.  I am humbled and grateful and so sorry I feel like I am a burden.  I haven't heard on my appeal yet, but I hope and pray that it will be approved.  I just don't want to be a burden to my kids.  Kamryn did the mini cheerleaders for the Pop Warner league.  She was really cute and seemed to like it.  Trentin is so into football and I really think he will do well as he grows.

For the first time in years, all of my kids are here for Thanksgiving.  We had a great meal - Tad grilled a ham and a turkey.  We had all of the fixins and the kids thought the best part was spending time together.  Cache and Ryker are in Wyoming.  We hope we get them for Christmas.  Gunnar is invited to Las Vegas for a wrestling tournament in December and I was invited to go.  Don would have turned 60 on the 1st of November.  I can't imagine him at 60.  My kids gave me an early Christmas present a Nikon D90 camera!  I am so excited and grateful and how do I say sorry they spent so much on me.  I will enjoy the camera and am excited to learn how to use it and get great photos.  Bailey and Brinley start dance in December and they are so excited, especially Brinley.  She is so into "princess" dance, fairies, etc.  You just never know who or what will interest them and it is so much fun for me to watch each of them grow and develop.

We went to Vegas the 14th of December and it was so fun.  The kids were so good and it was an awesome tournament.  Gunnar placed 3rd in his age/weight division and we are so proud of him.  His coaches, Coach Miller and Coach Garcia were so proud of him.  They were doing high fives...Gunnar has never not placed in a tournament and has only been wrestling 7 months.  His coaches are so proud of him.  I caught a cold that turned out to be a killer.  I was sick from the time we got home until after Christmas.  I feel like I missed December.  Troy turned 35 on the 3rd.  He works in Morenci and is doing well.  He and Maggie are working at their relationship.  When he comes home, they ALL stay here.  Jenna turned 32 on the 9th.  It doesn't seem possible.  She is such a good mother and wife.  She is so patient and kind.  I am so proud of her.  She is everything I am not and everything I always wanted to be.  I half-ass decorated my tree and that was it.  I didn't have the money to do much for Christmas.  I did another recipe album for the kids.  I want to do better next year.  I hope my kids know I love them.  They are all good people.  We had a nice Christmas dinner - Tad grilled a prime rib that was awesome.  We had a house full and that is good.  Cache and Ryker got to come and open presents and then had to go back home.  They have been sick, too so we didn't want to over do it.  Chelsea told Cache a few days before Christmas that Tad is not his dad and that he can't come over here any more.  I thought Tad was going to die.  He just bawled.  She got home the week before and the first night home we got the boys.  We were supposed to get them again on Thursday so on Wednesday she told Cache.  We got Ryker on Thursday but no Cache.  I was heart broken for Tad and Cache.  She said that Cache won't let Robin in his life so that's why she told him about Tad.  I know he needs to know but he is too young to understand.  She had to relax the not coming over, how could she do that to Cache.  He comes but isn't sure what to call Tad so he still calls him daddy.  That will be Cache's decision not hers. 

I asked if they could come over yesterday for my birthday and Chelsea said yes.  They had such a good time playing with Kamryn and Trentin.  I cooked lasagne, garlic bread and a salad.  I made my favorite cake, yellow with chocolate frosting.  I let the kids decorate the cake and they had a ball.  Ryker just ate frosting right out of the can and was a chocolate mess.  When I would say it was time for a bath he would have a fit.  He is a doll and melts my heart, too.  Cache turned 4 on the 26th of December and is a joy, too.   I had a good birthday.  Mary and my mom and dad came for dinner.  Mary is here with Velda for one of her criseses...it is too stressful for Mary and I worry about her.  She doesn't handle the cold and it is super cold right now and it is hard for Mary to get in and out. 

I was blessed beyond my worthiness in 2012 and am so grateful.  I want to get my life back on track.  Maggie and Troy moved back into their house tonight.  The kids are so excited to go home.  That is where they all need to be.  Tad has some work options to decide on and who knows what the future holds?  Maggie's baby boy is due in March.  Troy says it doesn't matter who the father is he will raise him as his own. I am proud of Troy and grateful that he is thinking of his family.  Weston and Jenna continue to be an inspiration and example for all of us.  I am thankful for each of you!

2013 can be a good year.  It will take effort on my part and I look forward to watching all of these little grandkids grow and learn.  They are the most amazing people on this earth all 8 of them.  I am anxious to meet number 9...