Post Script

I guess I forgot to tell you who the new Primary Presidency is - Amy Smith; Jodi Brown 1st Counselor and Becky Crosy, 2nd Counselor. They will be great and they have a really great new Chorister...Kyle Smith. He is a hoot and the kids LOVE him! Yesterday they got to cut his tie off at the knot if they sang loud enough and by cracky - it is gone. Talk about a visual lesson - Kamryn is still talking about it!

Released

We were released from the Primary Presidency today. It was a day of mixed emotions. I have truly enjoyed serving in the Primary and LOVE the children. Some of them really tug at my heartstrings and I will be sad to not be with them every week. On the other hand, I'm surprised they kept me this long. When Bishop Talbot and Br. Haws showed up at my house in January I told them they had the wrong person...I cuss like a sailor. I only cussed once after a Scout activity - I had all of the boys in my truck and they were buckled in (thank goodness) and had just dropped a couple off and we were on 2nd Street heading west to Main street when the chick in the green car with pink hub caps pulled in front of me heading to the Library. (Must have had a first-come, first-serve something or other, because she was hell-bent to get there). I was at the turn, a white van with a mom and her children were coming out of the library and the nut cut right in front of me...come on, how hard is it to not see my red truck? I slammed on my brakes, put my arm out to restrain any air-borne kids and said "SHIT!"..."Sister Maloy!" comes from the back seat. The nut goes to the library - the lady in the white van looks at her, looks at me and throws up her hands, I am about to have a heart attack. I hate the responsibilty of hauling anyone's kids, I am always worried that something could happen and I would never forgive myself if something did. If I hadn't slammed, and I mean slammed on my brakes, I would have pushed the green car into the white van. Ditz...don't know who she is, but man, when I see her now, I give her a wide berth.

Anyway, pretty good for 8 months. The children have won my heart, especially the Jr. Primary. Those little kids are awesome and loving and smart and everyone of them are CHILDREN of GOD.

Kamryn and I went to Elyse and Marian's baptism yesterday evening. It was so nice. Tammy's four girls sang "Love At Home" (an Allred family favorite) accompanied on the violin by Nate Walter (Emily's husband). Touching and spirtual. Emily spoke on Baptism, Ryan baptized the girls and Tristan spoke on the Holy Ghost and Steve confirmed them. Nate then blessed Hallie so that the girls' ordinances are up to date. I was honored that Tammy asked me to say the closing prayer. I do love my neices and nephews and always am honored when they include me in their family things. Kamryn loved going to Steve & Velda's afterward for the bbq. She and Trentin played hard. She is proud of herself, she is no longer scared of Steve. "Belda" is becoming someone she is comfortable to be around and she loves playing with "my friends"...the girls. The girls are so loving, they hug everyone and you can tell that Tammy and Brando are wonderful parents.

I am grateful for the blessings of the gospel, the blessings of family, the blessings of friends.

Have a good day and a great week.

Last of the Kennedys

This week the news that Ted Kennedy passed away brought to mind the Kennedy era in which I grew up. I remember being quite young when John Kennedy was elected president - don't recall the process, just that he was the president of the United States. I remember pictures of his young family, Jackie who was considered beautiful for her time and a classy dresser - her suits and dresses and her hats. I think everyone has seen the pictures of Caroline dressed in her little wool coat and John Jr. dressed in shorts. The times of dressing like that are gone for most people, maybe the people with money still dress their children like that.

I remember watching television and hearing President Kennedy's "ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country" speech. He is quoted from time-to-time. I remember hearing at school that President Kennedy had been assisinated and seeing for the rest of my life those pictures of the motorcade and the pictures of his wife and children. The conspiracy stories live and who knows what the real truth is. That is one of the questions I want to ask on the other side...and not that it's any of my business, but "did O.J. do it?"

A few laters, Robert F. Kennedy, who was running for president was assasinated and then you would see Ted emerging as a senator who made a name for himself through his many years of service. Sometimes the things we heard were not always as a public official should act - his extra marital affairs and the "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, Mary Jo"...

We heard the stories of extra marital affairs of the President - we watched the family go through many struggles and probably thought they should have been above them. Bribery, accusations of murder, my goodness - their stories could make for a sit on the egde of you chair mini series.

I felt a real sense of sadness when John Jr. died and the horrible wait for the family as they searched the sea to find the bodies of his wife, sister-in-law and himself.

I have watched Caroline serve quietly and watched Maria serve quite publicly. The Kennedys have been known for service and for championing the under dog. They have a lasting legacy, be it good or be it tainted by the actions of some.

I guess we are all pretty much like them - we just don't live our lives in the public eye as they do. We too will have a lasting legacy and it will be known by the choices we made. Hopefully ours, too, will speak of service and hopefully lots of goodness.

I just got out of my truck and heard Ted Kennedy Jr. as he spoke of his father and heard his voice crack with the pain of losing a loved-one and it just made me think.

Today will be a good day...Elyse and Marian are getting baptized this evening. Tammy's girls are so sweet and I am honored that they have asked me to give the closing prayer. Hugs from those girls, ahhhh there's nothing better.

Tad is golfing with Larry and Duane. Ed is in Buckhorn. The kids are running through the house and playing and I'm just thankful for this day. Thankful for each of you. Thankful I hear the neighbor's lawn mower, thankful for the BEAUTIES that surround me.

Have a good day and love to all.

August 24, 1996

Thirteen years ago today our lives changed, never to be the same. Don's death has affected each of us in ways that we can't even describe. There are times I am so angry, no, mad as hell at him for checking out. He left us at the most critical time of the kids' lives. Jenna was 15 going on 16; Tad was 13 going on 14 and Maggie was 11 going on 12. I always thought the first few years were the most critical in a child's life and they are for learning and gaining the sense of who they are and where they fit in the world. But a teenager needs both parents, even though they don't think so. I know there were times after Don died that my kids wished that it had been me instead of him, heck, so did I. We balanced each other...he was the easy going, wise one. I was the mean, fly off the handle one. I bet the kids can count on one hand the number of spankings they got from their dad.

I get mad when they have trouble and need to talk to their dad. They have no one. Tad has a couple of good friends he will talk to but mostly not. Jenna, I think, talks to Weston. Maggie, I'm not sure about at all. With the recent trouble in Maggie's life, I think she had no one and that's part of her problem.

I get mad when a new grandbaby is born and Don isn't there to be grandpa...he would have been a wonderful grandpa.

I miss him so very much, and I always will. We started dating in High School and married after he got home from his mission. I thought we had it all. We struggled to have babies and he loved Jenna, Tad and Maggie so much. I always felt like I was the one who missed Damara - I carried her for 9 months then she died four days after she was born. He never got to be a daddy to her, so he was a good daddy to the other three.

I learned that you really never have it all. Satan is waiting for us to make one wrong choice and he's in. Unfortunately Don made some bad choices at the end of his life that ultimately took his life and it makes me so sad and sometimes mad. No matter what the choices he made, Don was a good person. He was kind and thoughtful and generous and fun and loved his little family.

I hope that before this life is over, I won't be mad any more. I hope that the sadness I feel for my kids will be replaced by the sweet hope of expectation.

In a short while we will be teaching the grandbabies about their Grandpa...the one that they never got to know here on this earth. They, too, will look forward to the time to see him, because he truly is somone to look forward to seeing again.

Hard as it is at times, it is a good life. Don wanted his kids to have a good life and to do better than he did. I hope that they know this and mostly, I hope they know that their dad loves them. I can promise them without reservation that he loves them and that wanting something better for them was part of the last choice he made here.

Our song was "Baby, I Love You" by Andy Kim...makes me miss him all over again. But hey, I love listenting to the oldies, you know our make out music of the 60's and 70's such fun times and such good memories.

Yes, Don, I love you and I miss you and know that you love and miss us too.

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

WOW! The 2nd best day of summer. Yesterday was the best day because that was the first true rain we've had ALL summer, and yes, we're keeping track. Today it came, as Don used to say, "a turd floater" and float it did. We had a little hail and lots of water and I am so excited. If it would do this every day for a week or two, we would be in great shape. I am so thankful for answered prayers.

Another Sunday and we're off to the start of another week. I spent the first half of Primary in Nursery with Kamryn and again I am thankful for good nursery leaders. We spent the second half in Sharing Time for the Senior Primary. The kids are so good and Brother Smith is great with them. He is really getting their interest for music time. Kamryn LOVED it - maybe she'll make a better Sunbeam than she does in nursery.

I just growled at Trentin and made him cry. He noticed Sadie's "bum" because her tail curls up over her backend and he was trying to touch it. I growled "YUCK" and made him cry and now he is in the bathroom hiding from me. (Oh yah...try playing in the toilet) I think he thinks "I'll show you YUCK!" Dang little toot is ALWAYS into something. He is so sweet and we get along pretty dang good. I think Bailey is the one that has to warm up to me before she's ok with the nutty lady that shows up from time to time.

I miss Jenna, Weston, Gunnar and Bailey. Why do they have to live so far away? Gunnar won't talk on the phone so I'm limited in conversation to face-to-face. Bailey Boo will talk once in a while. Kamryn will talk you leg off and Trentin grabs the phone and runs.

I am so blessed and I know that I am and I am so THANFUL to a LOVING, Father in Heaven that knows me, knows the desires of my heart, knows my limitations, knows my abilities and knows what I need. The Gospel is central to my whole being and I am thankful to know Him and know that he LOVES me!

YUCK...now Trentin stinks. Guess it's time for Grandma to quit playing on the "pooter" and get back to work. Have a great week and love to all.

Life Gets Hard Sometimes...

and I don't know why it has to. Troy and Maggie have been having some problems that got pretty serious so I have the kids until they get things straightened out. While the ideal place for them is with their mother and daddy, this is not the time for them to be there. They are adjusting and I am adjusting. I love my grandbabies so much it makes my heart hurt and to think that there is anything amiss in their little lives just about does me in. I am so proud of my girls and the good mothers they are. They are both patient and kind and truly love their children.

I took Kamryn to church with me today because I had sharing time and I couldn't do it with both she and Trentin. Trentin stayed with his mama and daddy and when I went to pick him up he came willingly and I saw the hurt in Maggie's eyes and face. She is so worried that they won't want to come back home, but they will when they feel that it is back the way it should be. Kamryn went to Nursery for the first time ever and I thank Luke and April for being so patient with her. She tried so very hard to not cry, and didn't. She just clung to April everytime she had to take a child to the restroom.

In my calling in the Primary Presidency, I am over Nursery, Sunbeams and Scouts. I do want the Nursery People (Walkers and Eagars) to know I THANK them for what they do. The TWO most important callings in the whole ward are 1) Nursery and 2) Sunbeams. If children don't get that sense of security and stability in Nursery and then Sunbeams, they really struggle. My Sunbeam teachers are Jane Finch and Megan Hamblin. Once again, THANK YOU for being there every week.

I am thankful for my Scout people - Linda Eagar, Becky Crosby, Kathy Koin and Whitney LeSueur. I know absolutely zilch about scouting and thank goodness we have people willing to make it good for the boys. They are cute little guys and a couple of them really tug at my heartstrings. They have good Scout leaders and good Primary teachers to help them through.

We have a new Chorister in Primary, Brother Kyle Smith and the kids LOVE him! He has always wanted to be the Primary Chorister and by cracky we called him and he teaches the children so much about the gospel while teaching them their songs. Today he did a train whistle "toot, toot" followed by the "shhhhhhh" and had the kids totally quiet. They were so in to doing what he asked them to do and it was so much fun to watch. I had sharing time that bombed, because of my lack of spirit and almost lack of preparation. The thing I have found this week, is that you don't have two minutes to call your own. While I apologize for the bomb in Sharing Time, the most important calling I had this week, being Grandma to Kamryn and Trentin was never half-done. My rationalization is that I don't always bomb in Primary, but this week Kamryn and Trentin's needs over-rode every other thing I did or didn't do.

Yesterday I was in charge of our Primary Activity Day. We have had an Article of Faith challenge going since May. We challenged the Sunbeams to learn 3 Articles of Faith; the 5 - 8 year olds to learn 6 Articles of Faith and the 8 and Up to learn all 13. Little Skyler Willis, one of our cute Sunbeams has learned 2 and almost has his 3rd. He will have it by next week and I will still give him his award. He has earned it! Emily Willis and Daniel Pena both learned 6 Articles of Faith and then we had Makenli Haws, Janelle Pena, DJ Bigelow, Caleb Willis, Katie Bigelow, Chanelle Pena and Lauren Willis learn all 13! Leaders meeting the challenge were Amie Bigelow, Jodi Brown, Suzanne Willis, Becky Crosby, Denise Harris, and Stephen Pena. The reward...
an Ice Cream Sundae Party. Every person got a bowl with one scoop of ice cream. If you learned two articles of faith you got to put two more toppings on your ice cream and the kids had a ball. Lauren Willis got six scoops of ice cream and 7 toppings! I gave candy bars with Big 3 for the Sunbeams; Big 6 for the younger children and Big 13 for older children and leaders. The kids had a lot of fun. Today I took candy bars to all of the children to reward them for their efforts. I am so proud of them and have learned so much from them. I have loved being in Primary for the past 8 months. How did I do? 7...lack of effort on my part.

Life does get hard and we all have to have accountability for choices we make or don't make. Sometimes they bite us in the butt and sometimes we barely get by. I hope that I make a conscious effort to make better choices, because every choice I make affects someone else.

I love all of you and hope that you all have a good week.

August 9, 1956

Well, wasn't my little world turned upside down on that day 53 years ago? That's when Lynn was born. Now I'm guessing I wasn't the happy camper that everyone thought that I should be - come on, the world DID revolve around me and all of a sudden I have to share with a baby. Everybody knows babies get ALL the attention - WHAT were they thinking, bringing him home? We were 19 months apart and really did get along pretty good until he was home for about 2 hours. Then HE became the MEANEST little *#%! on earth. I ALWAYS played trucks with him. I ALWAYS played at the creek with the boys. When it was time to play dolls... that little (#*$ would hang them in trees, pull their heads off - you name it. The boys ALWAYS cheated - I got one or two strikes and I was out - they got however many they wanted. Needless to say, I got tough and I got mean. I could take care of myself, thanks in a big way to Lynn.

We used to get in some pretty mean fights and I could hit with the best of them. I wasn't much of a screamer or pincher, just down right knock his block off. When we were still quite little, he pestered me until I could not take another second, hit him in the head with a pop can (they used to have the rims on them like vegetable cans and had to be opened with the "church key" can openers) and lucky me, I cut his head open and we had to go to town for stitches. I didn't get in trouble, I didn't deserve to get in trouble. I will always remember going to town for stitches.

That kid probably got a spanking a day for the first five years of his life and I say he never got one he didn't deserve and probably didn't get as many as he needed. He tested my mom's patience to no end. The warning of "don't go to the creek" was NEVER heeded - thus a spanking with a willow or a flyswatter, or a belt or her hand. Man it didn't take me long to figure out NO meant NO. The warning of "don't run off" was NEVER heeded - thus a spanking. My mom got to be a pretty good shot with rocks - Lynn thought he could out run her when he was in trouble so he wouldn't get a spanking - she nailed him with a rock. He says he was abused.

We got closer when we were getting in/out of High School. When we were all first married, we used to go bowling or to pizza or the movies or out on the mountain all of the time. Then one day kids started coming along and it was harder to go and do.

I've always known if I really needed something, all I had to do was call. Lynn has had some rough times over the past ten years and this spring he was almost killed in an ATV wreck. That really shook me up - the thought of losing my brother was too real and too close. I do LOVE Lynn. He is a grouch and has a soft heart. He has a witty sense of humor. He sometimes has a lot of patience and other times explodes like a bomb. He loves animals and has quite a zoo going down in Morenci. He is a hard worker and a hard player. He learned something that my dad never learned - how to play. He has spent countless hours hunting and fishing and wood hauling with his family. He spent countless hours involved with Little League when his kids were little.

He loves his kids and his family. I hope he had a Happy Birthday, Love you.

Skunked!

I'm working on some ATV trail stuff last night, trying to finish so I can go to bed. Sadie is insistent she needs out, so I let her out. I am just finishing my work when I smell skunk. I open the back door and it is STRONG...I call for Sadie and I can tell by the way she is snorting and sniffing she's got a snoot full. DAMNED DOG...I make her come in and start the bath and she starts freaking out because she HATES baths. Chasing her through the house and calling her a *%#$&( brings Tad out of his room. I just about have her cornered when she sees Tad's door open and guess who jumps up on his bed? Cussing a little louder now and threatening her life, I finally get her in the tub and we start washing skunk off. During the chase, I kicked her butt once and grabbed a plastic clothes hanger and gave her a couple of whacks. Sadie is MAD at me but endures the bath. At about midnight I crawl into bed thinking I'm too old for this crap.

This morning Sadie looks at me and walks off. I talk to her and she ignores me. She plays with Ali all around me but totally gives me the cold shoulder. She still has a very faint skunk smell around her mouth so I'm thinking vanilla mouth wash for her. When I'm done with that she's really gonna be pissed.

My dilemma for the day...do I set a trap or do I just get the 22 out and take this little stinker out? He's been in the neighborhood for the past month and frankly, I'm ready for him to be somewhere else, like skunk heaven. (IF there is a skunk heaven). Besides I don't want him thinking this is a nice neighborhood, let's move the family in...

I noticed Tad skipped his early morning shower this morning (probably because I didn't scrub the bathroom at midnight) and maybe he's worried he'll smell like a skunk AFTER his shower, oh who knows.

I rode to Curves with Darlene this morning and she didn't mention "skunk" odor...maybe I didn't get any on me when I wrestled Sadie down and I mean physically wrestled her down. I smelled skunk at the front fence this morning, I'm hoping that means the skunk was outside the fence and not in the yard. Maybe I'll go out tonight and see if he's on the street and do a hit and run...

Got to get off my butt and scrub the bathroom, now doesn't that sound like fun when it's gonna be another hot one here today?

Hope you all have a good day.